Barry Diller, the tech billionaire and longtime husband of fashion designer Diane von Fürstenberg, is getting candid about his sexuality and the pair’s scrutinized romance.
In something of a coming out, Diller, 83, acknowledged his experiences of same-sex attraction in a May 6 essay published in New York Magazine. The revelation is taken from an excerpt of Diller’s upcoming memoir, “Who Knew,” which is slated to be released on May 20.
“While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman, and she didn’t come into my life until I was 33 years old,” Diller wrote of Fürstenberg, 78.
Diller, known for his work as chairman of IAC and Expedia Group, has been married to Fürstenberg since 2001. The couple has no children.
“There are many complex aspects of my relationship with Diane von Fürstenberg,” Diller continued, which include “romantic love and deep respect, companionship and world adventuring, then disappointment and separation, and finally marriage.”
USA TODAY has reached out to representatives for Fürstenberg for comment.
Diller’s sexuality has long been the subject of media speculation. A 2001 article from New York Magazine, titled “Inside Out,” noted that the businessman was “often referred to as bisexual,” although he reportedly “lived most of his adult life as a more or less openly gay man.”
Despite his attraction to men, Diller revealed in his memoir that the “biological imperative” of his relationship with Fürstenberg “was as strong in its heterosexuality as its opposite had been.”
“I’m well aware that this part of my life has caused confusion and lots of speculation,” Diller wrote. “A relationship that began with indifference, then exploded into a romance as natural to us as breathing, surprised us and everyone else. It really is the miracle of my life.”
Barry Diller on why he didn’t disclose sexuality
Although Diller had a history of sexual experiences with men dating back to his teen years, the business executive shared in his memoir that he was reluctant to disclose his sexuality as a public figure.
“I’d conquered other phobias, but fear of exposure still had a tyrannical hold on me, so much so that it stunted any chance of my having a fulfilling personal life,” Diller wrote, per New York Magazine. “Instead, I had discovered I could separate myself from anything painful or terrifying by just locking it away, putting it into a distant box, and having to deal with it hopefully never.”
While Diller grew to suspect that other people were aware he liked men, he “never wanted to make any declarations” out of fear of being ostracized.
“So many of us at that time were in this exiled state, so stunted in the way we lived,” Diller continued. “I hated having to live a pretend life, one that was totally silent on all the topics normal people talked about with each other. Of course I could have declared my sexuality, come out as some others were doing, but I was among the many at that time who were too scared to do so.”
Barry Diller’s sexuality was never a ‘conflict’ in Diane von Fürstenberg romance
Diller met Fürstenberg in the mid-1970s at a dinner party thrown in his honor after he was named chairman and CEO of Paramount. Fürstenberg was married at the time to Prince Egon von Fürstenberg.
The pair later reconnected at another dinner for their mutual friend Sue Mengers, and a “ferocious” romance soon ensued.
“There was no effort, no reasoning, no what’s-going-on-here, no ambition, no anything,” Diller reflected in his New York Magazine essay. “Other than sheer excitement, I thought, ‘Well, this is a surprise!’ I certainly didn’t feel, ‘Oh my God, what does this mean?’ I was simply existing in the moment, a rare place for me.”
Diller and Fürstenberg’s love story hit a rough patch in the ’80s when Diller discovered the fashion maven allegedly had an affair with actor Richard Gere during production of the Paramount Pictures film “American Gigolo.” The two reconciled after a 10-year separation.
Diller called his relationship with Fürstenberg the “bedrock of my life” and reflected that modern-day “sexual identities are much more fluid and natural, without all those rigidly defined lanes of the last century.”
“I’ve lived for decades reading about Diane and me: about us being best friends rather than lovers,” Diller concluded. “Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years. And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane.
“I can’t explain it to myself or to the world. It simply happened to both of us without motive or manipulation. In some cosmic way we were destined for each other.”
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