The dark side of Diddy’s infamous White Parties
Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, accused of over 120 sexual assault charges, rose to fame in the late 1990s for his influence in music and his star-studded parties.
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A key witness at the heart of the Sean “Diddy” Combs trial will be allowed to testify in court about why victims stay in relationships amid domestic violence, a judge determined Friday, April 25. But their testimony must be limited in scope.
The ruling is significant in this case as prosecutors will bring alleged victims of Diddy to testify about abuse, and defense attorneys will try to dispute their statements. In many abuse cases, if victims don’t immediately report abuse or sever ties with abuser, they are often discredited.
Relationships between victims and alleged abusers are complicated, and experts say trauma bonding may result. It’s common for someone to not even consider their abuser as a predator until much later.
Combs’ attorneys met with Judge Arun Subramanian on April 25 at the Daniel Patrick Moynihan United States Courthouse in Manhattan to hash out trial preparations with prosecutors. The trial is set to begin with jury selection on May 5. Federal prosecutors and Combs’ legal team have sparred in recent weeks about expert witness testimony that will be shown before the jury during the Diddy trial.
Subramanian determined that psychologist Dawn Hughes, a much-contested witness, is not allowed to discuss coercive control – a form of domestic abuse – but is allowed to discuss coping strategies for victims and why victims stay in relationships with patterns of domestic violence.
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‘They will act like a stellar human being’
Combs was arrested in September 2024 at a Manhattan hotel and was subsequently charged with racketeering, sex trafficking and transportation to engage in prostitution. He has pleaded not guilty to all five counts.
The criminal trial emerges as a series of civil lawsuits from dozens of accusers have been aimed at Combs, accusing one of the music industry’s most recognizable figures of a pervasive pattern of sexually and physically abusive behavior. The allegations span decades and include claims of rape, sexual assault and physical violence.
Beth Tyson, a psychotherapist and childhood trauma consultant, previously told USA TODAY that predators often treat some people in their lives well in order to preserve their credibility. Predators do this, she says, so they can have supporters, should they ever get accused of wrongdoing by someone else.
“They will act like a stellar human being in front of the people they are not abusing in order to have people in their corner who will unknowingly discredit their victims,” she said.
What is a trauma bond?
Federal prosecutors wanted to call Hughes so she could testify about how victims of sexual abuse may sometimes remain loyal and committed to their perpetrator and stay in relationships with them due to emotional manipulation or a fear of violence.
Hughes has testified in other high profile sex trafficking cases, including R&B singer R. Kelly’s trial in 2021.
Prosecutors say Hughes’ expertise is necessary to contextualize Combs’ argument that victims willingly participated in “Freak Offs” given that they at times expressed affection for him and chose to stay with him.
Combs’ lawyer Alexandra Shapiro said at an April 18 court hearing that the government was improperly seeking to use Hughes’ testimony to bolster the credibility of the alleged victims who are expected to testify against him.
Traumatic or abusive situations often distance or isolate people. But sometimes, it can also bring them closer in what is called a “trauma bond,” an unhealthy relationship between an abuser and their victim.
Contrary to popular belief, it does not describe a shared connection between two victims of trauma.
“It describes a bond or connection with the perpetrator of abuse in our life,” Cecile Tucker, a registered clinical counselor specializing in trauma, previously told USA TODAY. “For example in an abusive relationship, one might start to connect with, understand or even become defensive of the person who is abusing them.”
In a trauma bonded relationship, moments of distress and devaluation are often juxtaposed with intermittent positivity or intimacy, making it difficult to leave these toxic situations. The victim will often try to rationalize or justify the abuse they’re experiencing and consequently form an emotional attachment to their abuser.
Not everyone who experiences abuse will develop a trauma bond. But Tucker says it can be a maladaptive way for our brains to handle or survive trauma.
Some victims of abuse may think, “If they understand this person at a deeply intimate level, it makes it a lot easier to predict how (the abuser) might harm you in the future. So really, it’s a safety strategy that we are unconsciously doing in order to protect ourselves,” Tucker says.
However, she warns that staying in abusive and traumatic situations for too long can have mental health consequences in the long-run, including an increased risk for PTSD, anxiety, substance use and depression.
How to break a trauma bond
Breaking free from a trauma bond can be a difficult, decades long process. But The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers some suggestions to those struggling:
- Don’t compromise the truth for empty promises. “It means being honest with ourselves about how our partner’s choice to behave violently towards us in any way has impacted us in the past, is currently impacting us, and may impact us down the road, without dismissing this reality.”
- Be vigilant and acknowledge what you’re going through. This can mean writing it down to remind yourself later and reflecting on its impact.
- Avoid negative self-talk. Instead, embrace “positive self-truths” by surrounding yourself with a strong support system. “Try something like, ‘I’m smart, because I’m taking steps to empower my future at this very moment,’” the NDVH recommends.
Contributing: Charles Trepany, Jenna Ryu, Jay Stahl, Anna Kaufman, Edward Segarra and Patrick Ryan, USA TODAY; Luc Cohen, Reuters
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